It's been a long while since I've done an update. Ya know how it is...things get busy, especially in the summer.
I also wanted to wait for an appropriate time. I didn't quite know when that appropriate time was. First I thought it might be after the fourth cycle of chemo...then it was after the last PET/CT scan. Then it was after the sixth cycle of chemo. Now it's the start of radiation therapy. It's been busy.
Most/some of you are aware that my cancer is technically in remission. Dr. Al-Katib is comfortable calling the ball. The last PET/CT in July confirmed that there was little to no uptake of the radioactive sugar water anywhere in my body and especially in the tumor. That's usually the tell-tale sign that the cancer cells are dead. That was after the fourth cycle of chemo.
At that point I did the preliminary stuff for radiation therapy. CT's, molds and tatooing. Dr. Aref (the radiation oncologist) did his 3D modeling and decided that he couldn't safely do his thing (radiating the tumor) without significantly damaging my lung. The lung was almost encircling the tumor (I'd say close to 60% or so), which made it difficult to radiate the tumor without collateral damage. So it was decided to do two more cycles (two treatments per cycle) of chemo to try to shrink the tumor some more. Then Dr. Aref can use a smaller/tighter and less-concentrated beam of energy to get the job done without the collateral damage.
During this time, I also had an appointment with my pulmonologist to see what the condition of my lung was. Happy to report that my lung reinflated to full use (he said 98% which is damn close). I didn't really notice any significant difference but that was probably due to the chemo treatments. Both Al-Katib and my pulmonologist figured that was probably the case. Those chemo drugs take quite a bit out of ya.
Someone asked me what it feels like. It's hard to describe, but the best description I could give them was that it felt like someone or something was squeezing every single cell/tissue/organ in my body at the same time. Add the bone pain from the Neupogen shots and it really wasn't a pretty picture. It hurt alot! Some days I had to use a cane to get around, some days I was fine.
One of those things I never figured out (and the doc's really didn't have an answer for either) was why my hips kept on trying to pop out of their sockets if I moved too quickly or the wrong way. All I know is that it hurts like eternal damnation. Hasn't happened since chemo and the Neupogen shots were finished. Knock on wood!
Through it all, I tried to do as much as possible. Bowling on Thursdays was (and still is) alot of fun. It was a little tough to do occasionally. We gradually got me down to two Neupogen shots after chemo, which was a great thing since it meant two less days of agony during that two week time. Hung out with friends and family as much as possible. Even had a family reunion that turned out quite well considering how much we didn't plan it (like we usually do).
My last chemo treatment was August 25th. Since then, I've gone in for additional CT's and radiation mapping. I had a dry run on Friday to make sure everything is in place and running smoothly for Monday.
I officially have to be out of my house by September 28th. Some times I felt/wished that I could stay in it but without a steady income...it just isn't possible. I'm better off starting over. Moving date is this weekend coming up. Everything will go into storage until I can get back to work full-time. Then I can get an apartment or something and get my life back to normal. I'm also probably going to take that opportunity to move a bit further north maybe up to Algonac area. It'll be a bit closer to work and, as much as I love the city, I think I was born to be a country boy. Gimme a nice country house with a wrap-around porch and a white picket fence and I'll be a happy camper. Oh...and since I'm dreaming...a lake I can go fishing any time I want. With a gin and tonic!
Believe it or not, this past Thursday (September 10th) was my six-month anniversary since all of this happened. Well, at least since I went into the hospital at Regional. Hard to believe. March 10 will always be hardwired into my brain from here on out. Expect a party around that anniversary date. Don't know what I'll be planning yet...but I'm planning something. Or I could use September 10th...dunno yet. March isn't really conducive to parties and barbecues...still a bit snowy and cold. I'll have to give it some thought.
A couple of things on the horizon. Moving day, of course. Also, since it is six months since all of this started, I also have to face realization that short-term disability payments are at an end and I also have to expect my insurance to revert to COBRA. I do have to express my undying gratitude to my employers, Trish and Ken over at Tri-Hospital EMS for their supreme generosity. Sure, the insurance and short-term disability may be somewhat dictated by policy and the law, but they made it very easy for me to rest easy and concentrate on getting better. I was, after all, only employed there for only a month-and-a-half when the crap hit the fan.
I actually had hoped to have gone back to work a while ago. I actually started thinking about it in June. Sure, it would have only been part-time or contingent status. I also couldn't go back to working the road because I couldn't lift anything with my left arm because that's where the med port is. I can drive a desk or teach is pretty much it...maybe dispatch or something like that. The problem was the chronic fatigue and everything else that goes with cancer and it's treatments.
Now, I have a bit more freedom and ability to do so (go back to work). I'll still be fatigued quite a bit...fatigue appears to be the number one side effect of radiation therapy...but I'd love to do something, especially if I can keep the insurance going without switching over to COBRA. Hopefully part-time. That's something we'll have to sit down and discuss.
Since I've been talking about generosity, I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank everyone again for everything. Generosity, prayers, thoughts, deeds, kind words, love, friendship. There was/is absolutely no way I would have been able to do this without the support of all of you. I am, and always be, eternally grateful for everything you have provided me in these past six months.
I promise I won't wait so long until the next update!
God bless!
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Merry Christmas to All!
[25 Dec 2006 | Monday]
 | Current mood:  peacefulCategory: Life Christmas is my favorite time of the year. It's the one season—although it can be hectic and stressful—that brings everything into perspective. Everybody (for the most part) is a little less angry and a little more pleasant. It is a time to get together and celebrate with friends and family alike. If you ignore—or attempt to shut it out—the commercialism that a capitalist society such as ours generates, you see and remember what Christmas is really about. It's about a little baby being born, a celebration of life. It's about a jolly old elf spreading goodwill and presents to all the good little girls and boys. It's about friends and family. It's about kindness and goodwill towards your fellow man. It's the only time of the year that I wish and hope that we could spread to the other 364 days of the year. It's no secret that I believe in Santa Claus. The man exists. The editor of The Sun is absolutely right. You may spend every waking moment of the rest of your life attempting to prove he does or doesn't exist, but you'll never find any physical proof. The proof lies in your heart. To see the goodwill, the compassion, and the love is physical proof enough that Mr. Claus exists. He exists because we celebrate the life's beginning of Jesus Christ, another man that existed to prove to the rest of us that goodwill, compassion and love can exist every single day of the year, not just on his celebration of his birth. May your Christmas season and the coming year be blessed to you. May your needs be fulfilled and your wants be cared for. May your health be good and your illnesses lessened. Celebrate every day of the coming year with the goodwill, compassion and love that you will experience this Christmas season. Believe in the spirit of Christmas, in Santa Claus, in Jesus and your burdens will be lessened. Just believe. A very Merry Christmas and a very prosperous New Year to all. God Bless, Mikey 02:47 |
Not-So-Random Musings
[22 Nov 2006 | Wednesday]
| Current mood: peacefulCategory: Goals, Plans, Hopes Yeah, yeah...I know. I've been neglecting my blog. Sometimes, it seems like life just gets in the way of the important things. And, yes, I do consider my blog to be important. Not just to me, but to all of you as well. Well, on to my not-so-random musings… First off, I need to offer an apology to Muppet. I actually promised that I'd publish a new blog yesterday. But (as usual) something important came up. Amy called me right after I'd just got done talking to Nicole and asked me to come over. Her blood pressure was running a bit on the high side, so she asked me to come over and take it for her. So I did. I kept her company for a couple of hours, while we waited for her pressure to come back to normal. I got to see all the pictures of the newest and tiniest baby in town. Melina is a verifiable cutie. In fact, on my way home from work tonight, I gave Amy a call to see how she was doing, and Melina is now home and doing great. She's still tiny (just under four pounds) but she's home after a week at My second week of tactical school (uggh—just realized that my last post was almost a month ago) went extremely well. My final verdict on The International School of Tactical Medicine (ISTM) was a great school. Way too much to learn in two weeks, but just enough to wet your whistle. Hopefully we can put that knowledge gained to good use and help out Macomb County Sherriff and Clinton Township PD. I believe that only good can come from this. Something that Dr. Lawrence Heiskell (the Medical Director of ISTM) said struck me as being absolutely true and one of the many reasons I love this field: "The things that we teach you today is not what we will be teaching five years from now." I guess you could call it an absolute of I'm absolutely positive that Beasy can relate. Not that I'm calling you old, Beasy. That would be too bold! Let's chalk it up as "experienced." Love ya, Beasy! Yeah, I know that some of you think very little of sports or some people's obsession about sports, but think how boring it would be on this rock without it. Competition is probably the basest instinct that we have—that and procreation—and even that is a competition! Sometimes we don't even realize it, but we compete over almost everything. It provides us with the drive to excel; it allows us to reach that (seemingly) unreachable goal. It provides purpose in our lives. What a dull and drab life we would live without competition and sports. If you're wondering about the "Meeechigan," then you need to learn a little bit more about That second person is Bo. Glenn Edward "Bo" Schembechler died Friday morning. I was absolutely stunned when I heard the news. I'll tell you now that I didn't do much else on Friday than listen to the radio and read the articles on the internet as everybody reminisced about Bo. The man is legend. "The General" is probably shaking hands and having a good laugh with Woody right now. I can honestly tell you that he is one of my icons, one of my heroes. Why? Because of his determination, his passion, and his humanity. He cared about everyone and always had something to say. It didn't matter who you were, he cared. He listened to you. He lived by a couple of axioms: "What the mind can believe and conceive; the mind can achieve." He lived by those words and his players did as well. Bo had a plaque made shortly after he arrived at Even I have a "Bo" story. I actually met the man, very briefly, at So…what am I trying to say? I guess I'm trying to say this: Be rich. Not in money, for that only goes so far. What really matters in life, in love, in your job, in anything you may do, is—in a word—passion. Be rich in character, rich in your beliefs, your desires, and in what or how you do something—anything. Be passionate. Bo and Bob cared so much in what they did and how they did it. They epitomize But it isn't just that. Sure, on the surface, this all seems like sports. Dig deep and you can see how and why it means so much (or should) to all of us. What or who I care about, how I do my job, how I live my life, what I do with my life. That's what I hope people remember most about me: that I'm truly passionate about everything I do, who I care about and what I care about. Hail to the Victors! May God bless you Bo! Respectfully, Mikey P.S.: Here are a couple of articles that fit the bill: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=wojciechowski_gene&id=2666291 http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2666059 http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=2666106 Here's something else I found that doesn't really fit in with the topic, but should be a vivid reminder of why we do what we do. It's to give opportunity. http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=burnside_scott&id=2666130 Mikey 00:57 |
Rewind Button?
[20 Oct 2006 | Friday]
| Current mood: peacefulCategory: Life Every once in a while, the subject comes up. It came up again while working this week. The subject? How could I have turned down an $80,000 per year (to start) job to be an EMT (and eventually a paramedic)? Well, if you've read my short history, you can probably figure out what kind of job it would have been. Long story short, I turned down a job at Detroit Edison's Fermi 2 nuclear power plant (in Monroe) way back in 1994 (has it really been that long?), pretty much right after I got out of the Navy. I went through the entire interview process after being selected in the top 20 of over 2000 applicants, and was offered the job at the end of the interview process. I turned it down, because I wanted to give EMS a try. That's what I told them. Nicole (Muppet) and a few others who already know the story have a hard time agreeing with what I did. That's when I hear "You're a flippin' idiot" or "You're crazy" or something similar. Why did I do it? To be honest, I couldn't really give you an answer that you'd accept, let alone one that I'd really believe. I don't really know, other than I do remember really wanting to give EMS a try. I think I had just finished my EMT course. Heck, I'm getting old. I might not even have signed up to take the course yet, for all I know. Had absolutely NO IDEA if I'd like it or if would be something I could call a career. I did know that I did like my job in the Navy but I wasn't entirely sure if I could do it for the rest of my life, even for the money. I'm absolutely positive that if I had taken the job at Fermi that I'd easily be making six figures by now. I'd probably be married and have a couple of kids, a nice house and a few nice cars. Probably a nice life. Wild guesses to be sure, but when you think about "what would've happened if....", I think you can grant me a few wild, educated guesses. I guess the most important question would be: Was it the right choice? Or: If I had or could do it all over again, what would I do? Obviously, there is tremendous speculation any time you have a chance to hit the rewind button, but the question still remains. I am fairly certain that any and all of us wish we had a rewind button at some point in our life. We said the wrong thing; made a right turn instead of a left; basically made a wrong decision. I guess that the reason we don't have a rewind button is because we need to learn and grow as we age, regardless of the decision made. If you make a wrong decision, well...you have to live with the consequences of your actions. It's called building character, taking responsibility for your actions, and learning from your mistakes. No matter whether the decision you made is the right decision or the wrong decision (or even no decision), there is always repercussions (effects). Those repercussions or effects may be felt immediately or possibly not for years. Your life changes a little bit on every decision you make or don't make. Left or right, right or wrong, black or white, night or day. What may seem like a small decision might turn out to be life-altering. I think that some of my patients over the years would agree with me on that one. The best that any of us could possibly hope for is that when you go to bed after a day of hard decisions, is that you're able to sleep soundly. And I sleep soundly. So, to answer the question: Yes! I think I made the right decision. Did I think so at the time? Probably not. I am fairly positive that I knew there was a lot of unknowns that didn't have answers at the time. There were lots of uncertainties. Did everybody think I was crazy? Absolutely! I know that today, right now, I can honestly say that I did make the right decision. How could I pass up the money? I don't know...but I did. For some reason, I guess I felt it was just the right thing to do at the time. Why do I think I made the right decision? Imagine looking through my eyes for a second. What do I see when I wake up every morning? I see two loving parents that wish their son was married and had a few kids that they could call grandchildren. But I know that they love and respect me for who I am regardless. They know I love my job and that I am happy. I see my brothers, my aunts and uncles and my cousins. I see Nicole, Cherie and their families. I see John and Karin and their family. I see Kimmy and Chuck and their family. I see Dave and Kyrsten and their family. I see Amy and Keith and their soon-to-be family. I see Melissa and Mike and their family. I see Marianne and Mike and their family. I see Beasy and Mike and their family. I see Mary, Rob, Sarah and Steve, Rich, Ryan, Holly, Christie, Megan, Apes, Sandy, Heather, Lisa, Poonie and Lucy, Sassypants and Alex and Grandpa, Eric, Jeff, Alyshia, Carmen and Jim, Trina and Mark, Andy and Sandy, Carrie and Jason and all of their families (if I didn't include you, it's not because I didn't think of you. I'd be here all night!). I see literally hundreds of friends. I see people I didn't know two minutes ago, with pained eyes and hearts, pleading to me to make them feel better. I see doctors, nurses, unit clerks, PCA's, EMT's, and paramedics. I see EMT and paramedic students. I see police officers, sherriff deputies and firefighters. When I finally close my eyes at night to rest a tired mind, body and soul, I sleep soundly because I am blessed to know each and every one of you, to be able to call you my friends and my family, because I helped you or taught you or just because I know you. And (as it turns out 12 years later), I have the best job on the planet! I have a job that I love to come to work to every day. That's how I know I made the right decision. The other answer? Not on my life would I want to do it over again! One tiny decision made everything right in my world. I can sleep soundly with that decision. Throw away the rewind button. I don't need it. I'll live with my decisions, good or bad. I don't need the money either. I have something far more valuable! God Bless! 02:03 |
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