September update!

It's been a long while since I've done an update. Ya know how it is...things get busy, especially in the summer.

I also wanted to wait for an appropriate time. I didn't quite know when that appropriate time was. First I thought it might be after the fourth cycle of chemo...then it was after the last PET/CT scan. Then it was after the sixth cycle of chemo. Now it's the start of radiation therapy. It's been busy.

Most/some of you are aware that my cancer is technically in remission. Dr. Al-Katib is comfortable calling the ball. The last PET/CT in July confirmed that there was little to no uptake of the radioactive sugar water anywhere in my body and especially in the tumor. That's usually the tell-tale sign that the cancer cells are dead. That was after the fourth cycle of chemo.

At that point I did the preliminary stuff for radiation therapy. CT's, molds and tatooing. Dr. Aref (the radiation oncologist) did his 3D modeling and decided that he couldn't safely do his thing (radiating the tumor) without significantly damaging my lung. The lung was almost encircling the tumor (I'd say close to 60% or so), which made it difficult to radiate the tumor without collateral damage. So it was decided to do two more cycles (two treatments per cycle) of chemo to try to shrink the tumor some more. Then Dr. Aref can use a smaller/tighter and less-concentrated beam of energy to get the job done without the collateral damage.

During this time, I also had an appointment with my pulmonologist to see what the condition of my lung was. Happy to report that my lung reinflated to full use (he said 98% which is damn close). I didn't really notice any significant difference but that was probably due to the chemo treatments. Both Al-Katib and my pulmonologist figured that was probably the case. Those chemo drugs take quite a bit out of ya.

Someone asked me what it feels like. It's hard to describe, but the best description I could give them was that it felt like someone or something was squeezing every single cell/tissue/organ in my body at the same time. Add the bone pain from the Neupogen shots and it really wasn't a pretty picture. It hurt alot! Some days I had to use a cane to get around, some days I was fine.

One of those things I never figured out (and the doc's really didn't have an answer for either) was why my hips kept on trying to pop out of their sockets if I moved too quickly or the wrong way. All I know is that it hurts like eternal damnation. Hasn't happened since chemo and the Neupogen shots were finished. Knock on wood!

Through it all, I tried to do as much as possible. Bowling on Thursdays was (and still is) alot of fun. It was a little tough to do occasionally. We gradually got me down to two Neupogen shots after chemo, which was a great thing since it meant two less days of agony during that two week time. Hung out with friends and family as much as possible. Even had a family reunion that turned out quite well considering how much we didn't plan it (like we usually do).

My last chemo treatment was August 25th. Since then, I've gone in for additional CT's and radiation mapping. I had a dry run on Friday to make sure everything is in place and running smoothly for Monday.

I officially have to be out of my house by September 28th. Some times I felt/wished that I could stay in it but without a steady income...it just isn't possible. I'm better off starting over. Moving date is this weekend coming up. Everything will go into storage until I can get back to work full-time. Then I can get an apartment or something and get my life back to normal. I'm also probably going to take that opportunity to move a bit further north maybe up to Algonac area. It'll be a bit closer to work and, as much as I love the city, I think I was born to be a country boy. Gimme a nice country house with a wrap-around porch and a white picket fence and I'll be a happy camper. Oh...and since I'm dreaming...a lake I can go fishing any time I want. With a gin and tonic!

Believe it or not, this past Thursday (September 10th) was my six-month anniversary since all of this happened. Well, at least since I went into the hospital at Regional. Hard to believe. March 10 will always be hardwired into my brain from here on out. Expect a party around that anniversary date. Don't know what I'll be planning yet...but I'm planning something. Or I could use September 10th...dunno yet. March isn't really conducive to parties and barbecues...still a bit snowy and cold. I'll have to give it some thought.

A couple of things on the horizon. Moving day, of course. Also, since it is six months since all of this started, I also have to face realization that short-term disability payments are at an end and I also have to expect my insurance to revert to COBRA. I do have to express my undying gratitude to my employers, Trish and Ken over at Tri-Hospital EMS for their supreme generosity. Sure, the insurance and short-term disability may be somewhat dictated by policy and the law, but they made it very easy for me to rest easy and concentrate on getting better. I was, after all, only employed there for only a month-and-a-half when the crap hit the fan.

I actually had hoped to have gone back to work a while ago. I actually started thinking about it in June. Sure, it would have only been part-time or contingent status. I also couldn't go back to working the road because I couldn't lift anything with my left arm because that's where the med port is. I can drive a desk or teach is pretty much it...maybe dispatch or something like that. The problem was the chronic fatigue and everything else that goes with cancer and it's treatments.

Now, I have a bit more freedom and ability to do so (go back to work). I'll still be fatigued quite a bit...fatigue appears to be the number one side effect of radiation therapy...but I'd love to do something, especially if I can keep the insurance going without switching over to COBRA. Hopefully part-time. That's something we'll have to sit down and discuss.

Since I've been talking about generosity, I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank everyone again for everything. Generosity, prayers, thoughts, deeds, kind words, love, friendship. There was/is absolutely no way I would have been able to do this without the support of all of you. I am, and always be, eternally grateful for everything you have provided me in these past six months.

I promise I won't wait so long until the next update!

God bless!

Thank You All SO VERY MUCH!!!

[17 Aug 2008 | Sunday]

Thank you all SO VERY MUCH!!! Current mood: thankful Category: Life Firstly I want to take the time to THANK YOU all for the great concern and the prayers and the support that you have provided my family and I in our little family crisis. I know that every little prayer and thought helped and was very much appreciated. I guess I should explain what happened. Mom was traveling with my Aunt Jeanette and my cousin Jeanelle to Raleigh, North Carolina to go to my other cousin's (Jenna) wedding. They had practically just arrived in the area and went out to do a little last minute shopping. As my mother was trying to get back in my aunt's 4x4 truck (a little taller than your average pickup) and she reached to close the passenger side door, she lost her balance while sitting on the edge of the seat and tumbled "flipped" out of the truck and landed on her head, neck and back. A couple of passerbys stopped to help my aunt with Mom and (rather than call EMS) put Mom in a wheelchair that was in the back of the pickup (my cousin has severe rheumatoid arthritis and needs a wheelchair occasionally) and wheeled her across the street to the nearby ER. Dad received a phone call from the ER doc and I managed to call back and talk to her. At that point she had already been thru x-rays and CT and was immobilized on a backboard with a cervical collar awaiting transport to WakeMed Trauma Center. My brother Matt left from Tennessee immediately and Dad and I left at daybreak on Sunday for the 13 hour drive. Mom was immediately admitted to Neuro ICU and diagnosed with a displacement of the C-6 and C-7 vertebrae. We talked with the neurosurgeon and I was able to look at the CT. The neurodoc stated that it was a miracle that my mother did not have complete lower body paralysis. Both vertebrae were displaced several centimeters and actually the edge of C-7 vertebrae was resting on top of the edge of C-6. According to the doc, Mom was "blessed" with "a generous spinal canal" (the area where the spinal cord goes thru) which resulted in very little neurological deficits. The only thing my mom was complaining about (aside from the neck pain) was bilateral upper arm weakness and pain. Mom spent the weekend horizontal in NICU with about 40 pounds of traction on her head and neck, trying to get the vertebrae to go back into place naturally. Well, naturally, that didn't happen. Mom's first surgery was Monday afternoon and lasted for 4 hours. The neurosurgeon reported that the vertebrae went back into "perfect alignment" and had to insert a titanium plate and screws on the posterior side of C-6&7. Mom spent the next two days recovering from surgery and we finally got her back eating and drinking, though she was in extreme pain (was on a morphine and then a fentanyl PCA pump for a day and a half). On Thursday it was decided that she would go back into surgery on Friday to place a second plate and screws on the anterior aspect of C-6&7, basically to strengthen the neck for the long term and per the doc "would improve her long term recovery significantly". So that surgery went without a hitch. She was transferred out of NICU on Thursday night to a private room in the neuro step-down unit and had her surgery the following morning. As of right now, Mom is recovering tremendously (though Dad would believe otherwise). I guess this paramedic stuff doesn't hurt. It was a bit tough with it being my mom and all, but I was able to stay objective and managed to keep both Mom and Dad informed of all the different aspects of care and what to expect and etcetera. Mom is almost her sassy self. She was to remain horizontal until Saturday and gradually be allowed to sit up. Just talked to Dad a little while ago and Mom was sitting up, they had removed her catheter and got her standing and walking a little bit this morning. Everything is progressing very nicely from my point of view. Wild guess, but I think Mom will be able to return home late next week or so. Mom, Dad and I all decided that I should probably get my butt back to work so I managed to grab a flight on Saturday. I spent the rest of the day with my Aunt Jeanette and Jeanelle (who had hip surgery on Wednesday) at UofM Hospital. I just got back home about an hour and a half ago. Again, thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. They were very much appreciated. Once again, I know without a doubt that I have the VERY BEST family and friends that a man could ever hope for. Love you all!!! Mikey 21:01 3 Comments 2 Kudos -------------------------------------- Wow, and I thought my situation was bad! Pleas let your mom know I am thinking of her... And tell dad not to worry too much... Let them both know how much I love them, and love you. I will place a blog for my circumsances because this is not the place for it. Love you, Mike... Sonja Posted by Andi on [17 Aug 2008 | Sunday] - 20:1 -------------------------------------- Mikey, I had no clue but I am so glad your mom is ok. I will be praying for her and your family. Hang in there.. Love, Brenda Posted by BRENDA on [17 Aug 2008 | Sunday] - 21:19 --------------------------------------- Mikey So sorry to hear about your mom. I will say a prayer for her. I see her alot at Sunnybrook for the fundraiser events as of late. I hope she has a speedy recovery and is back to her "sassy" self as soon as possible. I will keep everyone in my thoughts. Wishing you and your mom the best. John Posted by Duckstr on [17 Aug 2008 | Sunday] - 21:30

EMS Expo 2007 at Grand Rapids

[23 Apr 2007 | Monday]

EMS Expo 2007 at Grand Rapids Current mood: rejuvenated Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Hi Everyone! Michigan's EMS Expo was this weekend in Grand Rapids. Kinda quiet for Medstar's standards. There was only a few of us (and I do mean a few!) that attended. Nicole and I made the most of it! Got a later start than we wanted to on Friday (not too mention bogged down by traffic), but we arrived safe and sound at the Amway Grand at noon. Got settled in, took in a couple of classes and then the fun began. We were invited to a meet and greet for a very special person early Friday evening. Here's a pic to prove it (see if you can guess who the guy in the middle is before you go farther). That is none other than Mr. Randolph Mantooth....better known to the EMS community as Johnny Gage from Emergency! This all took place on the 28th floor of the Amway Grand in the reserved section of Cygnus 27, pretty much a 5 star restaurant/martini bar. After that we went down a level to the restaurant proper and had a very excellent dinner! The lobster bisque was sensational and if I didn't think they could top that...the dinner was even better! The sea bass was phenomenal!! I don't know if I've ever had better fish (and I've had my fair share of fish over the years). Just exquisite! Dessert was excellent. I recommend trying the trio sampler...you'll know when you see it! The martini's were outstanding! All in all...a great evening (just to get started)! There's the desert trio (finished of course!) on the table! I don't think Nikki ever takes a bad picture! If she does, this isn't it! Looking faaaabulous, dahling! A little fondue to finish the dinner off! Two peas in a pod! THe sister I never had and the brother she never had! I'm not exactly sure what this was...but it tasted delish!!!! And a none-to-subtle reminder of somebody's birthday! Like I said...the night was just getting started! Next stop... http://www.mojospianobar.com/index.html Lemmee tell you....Rag's to Riches (our old EMS Expo hangout) is history! This place rocks! We had a veritable blast! The drinks are cold and the show is awesome! I never thought that I'd have a blast in a piano bar of all places. Of course Nicole got me up on the stage for my birthday! Everybody had fun at everybody's expense! All of the pianists were tremendous, but one of them stood head and shoulders above the rest. His name is Andy. Andy just didn't play the piano or the guitar or the bass guitar or the trumpet. He sings just as well as he plays. And they played everything! Concertos, old rock, country, pop, new stuff, old stuff....everything! We talked to Andy after the show and found out that the only instrument that he doesn't play (and he is so frustrated by the fact that he can't get it down) is the sax. His parents came up all the way from Columbus, OH to see him play (for the very first time ever) and I found out that his mother is collecting money to do a 60 mile walk for breast cancer. Of course I gave her a donation. A buck a mile. Good money well spent! A truly tremendous family! Andy (sorry I didn't get his last name) is playing in Ypsilanti at Pub 13 on July 14th and August 4th. I'm gonna be planning a little road trip! Stay tuned! Everyone is invited! Ooops! I kinda forgot my camera when we went to Mojo's (both day's even...boy, I'm getting old!). I'll do better next time! Well, I was pretty whipped after that so we went back to the Grand after that and crashed...apparently very hard (for me at least). Nicole went over to bother Brook Atkinson for an hour or so. I left a dent in my pillow! I was poooped! So pooped that I don't remember yelling at Nicole for jumping on my bed when she got back to the room. I also don't remember her trying to get me up in the morning to go to Melissa Gladieux's class at 0800. After that we went to see Randy's (Johhny Gage) keynote session on the beginnings of EMS, of which Emergency! was a big part. After that...time to work...if you want to call spending three hours at an arm's length from Mr. Mantooth work. We helped everyone get their autographs. He did the autographs for free, we just sold the pics and other memorabilia so he could raise money for the County of Los Angeles Fire Museum which is going to include the start of EMS, EMT's and Paramedics within the exhibits. http://www.clafma.org/ Here's Randy's official website: http://www.randymantooth.com/ Had a blast...another job where you can have fun while working! Always works for me! The man...the legend himself! Nikki and Randy! Mikey and Randy! Randy signing one of many photographs. He went through almost a dozen sharpies in the three hours he was signing! And only one potty break! Now that's dedication! After that we attended the Award's Banquet and Dinner like we always do. Luckily, Kolby's got contacts. He lost the banquet tickets! We still got it though! Good dinner! I even had seconds (ok...so it was whatever Melissa couldn't finish)! After that...martini's up in the tower again at Cygnus 27. Then back to Mojo's to finish the night off. Once again, a great time! Jerod (from Macomb County Medcom fame) joined us for dinner, martini's and Mojo's. Even an old sourpuss (JK Jerod!!!) like him had a great time! We crashed again and slept in a bit on Sunday morning. Grabbed a great breakfast at Bentham's after checking out (can't beat the sausage gravy and biscuits!). We finished our little vacation by taking a little trip through history at The Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum. Jerod and another friend Kim joined us on our jaunt through history. Well worth it...I'll recommend it to anybody! And then the reluctant drive home... Epilogue: I am coming to the distinct impression that Grand Rapids is my singular choice for a weekend getaway. The city is absolutely gorgeous. Downtown is clean and well organized. It might be a little on the expensive side for a getaway but the amenities make it all worth it. And it's growing rather than the decay we see around here. Of course...I'll always be the eternal optimist. It is possible that Detroit could rebound and be as nice as Grand Rapids is. It's going to take a lot of work, though. Next blog is coming soon...featuring my new house!!! Pictures to be included! Stay tuned! God Bless! Mikey 21:19 2 Comments 0 Kudos ----------------------------------------- Well said Mikey!!! Let's do it again next year!!! Love ya nicole Posted by Nicole on [24 Apr 2007 | Tuesday] - 12:12 ------------------------------------------ You know it Beautiful!!!! I also wanted to add...because I was woefully neglectful...Randy Mantooth is the genuine article, folks! He doesn't act standoffish or celebrity. Heck, before the banquet I saw him standing in line with the rest of us waiting to get a drink. He is a genuine, down-to-earth, good-hearted individual on a mission. His only use of his celebrity status is to advance a good cause. Maybe that's why (well, there's plenty of other reasons too!) I remain the optimist in an ocean of pessimism...most people are basically good and good-hearted. And another reason I do what I do. Because I'm surrounded by good people and great friends. Muppet and I talked a little bit last night (while I was writing my blog) and we came to the conclusion (not a bit overly obvious) that, no matter how much our family and our friends love us and support us, unless they do what we do, day in and day out, they will NEVER completely understand us and why we do what we do. This is not said out of contempt, it's just the way it is, God bless them. And Us. God Bless! Mikey Posted by Mikey on [24 Apr 2007 | Tuesday] - 19:44

Back from Washington and Other Stuff

[07 Apr 2007 | Saturday]

Back from Washington and other stuff Current mood: chipper Category: Life Hello all! Yes it's been a little while (almost a month). Busy, busy.... Firstly, my vacation was just that...a well deserved vacation. I enjoyed every minute of it. It's one of those vacations that you don't want to ever get back to reality. There's a little bit of beautiful in Washington, and I think I found it. There's a little bit here as well, but sometimes you just gotta put on your walking shoes and go see what's out there. Holly and her family were more than just a bit accomodating to me and I sincerely appreciate it. Holly and I took a little walk (HAH!) up the mountain to her little slice of the planet and it was well worth every out-of-breath and out-of-shape minute. I realize that pictures don't really do any view justice but here are a couple. In case you all are wondering about the last pic, that's my yearly snow angel. Been doing them for as long as I can remember. Pretty good for an old guy! Let's see....I got Holly's myspace page up and looking good. We tweaked it and she's looking good! Other news from the front... I guess the biggest news of late is that I'm in the works of buying my first home. I should be closing on it at the end of this month. Details and pictures to follow (eventually). Be prepared for a house warming party of some sort! Work's work. Busier than ever. Had a few decent calls lately. They generally are good for me and my students/third riders...bad for the patients. Always doing my best to kick the reaper in the drawers and away from my patients. Doesn't always work, but I got good odds . Well, I promise not to be a stranger...hopefully I got myself in a routine for a little while. I'll be back soon. Until then... Have a happy and blessed Easter! God Bless, Mikey 18:50 0 Comments 0 Kudos

[05 Mar 2007 | Monday]

Cle Elum, Washington 2 of ? Current mood: relaxed Category: Travel and Places Hello all! Doing well. Doing nothing is good! Relaxing is even better!! Boy, I had no idea how much I needed this. Being able to sleep in til noon (if I want to) is a good thing. Been seeing the sights, so to speak. If you're looking for monuments and skyscrapers, this is the wrong part of the universe. If you're looking for nature at it's finest, then this is God's country! Lots and lots of snow. If you were paying attention to the news on Wednesday (February 28th), the sixty-car pileup was about 20 miles or so from where I'm at. I was safe at home watching all the snow fall, drinking my hot coffee. Really, the weather isn't bad at all, if you're used to the snow every day. Temperatures have been pretty reasonable. Good thing I didn't bring a bulky jacket. I can get by just fine with a fleece jacket. Here are some pictures of the surrounding area: Holly's (and her parent's) driveway: Holly's house: A view of the countryside (with lots and lots of snow): And last-but-not-least...downtown Cle Elum: Okay, gotta go...they're kicking me out of the internet cafe again. More tomorrow! Mikey 21:01 3 Comments 2 Kudos --------------------------------------- Beautiful pictures!!! Are you sure you want to come home? I'm glad your having a relaxing time we miss ya. Tell Holly I said hi. That is to much snow for me I need a beach and some palm tree's because I am having cabin fever. Love ya Nicole Posted by Nicole on [06 Mar 2007 | Tuesday] - 01:05 -------------------------------- Mikey, It is so pretty there. I would not want to shovel all that snow. Make an igloo for me. Tell Holly and her family I said hi. Love, Cherie Posted by Cherie on [07 Mar 2007 | Wednesday] - 00:27 ------------------------------------- LOL, You two crack me up! No shoveling up here (at least for the most part). They got a couple of back-hoe's to do the job. Been pretty mild this week. Lots of melting snow and even some rain today Love you two! Mikey Posted by Mikey on [07 Mar 2007 | Wednesday] - 20:00

Cle Elum, Washington (1 of ?)

[24 Feb 2007 | Saturday]

Cle Elum, Washington (1 of ?) Current mood: calm Category: Travel and Places Hiya Folks! Made it ok (if it wasn't too obvious). Didn't get hijacked or anything disturbing like that. Mostly slept on the way over here (almost eight hours total travel time with one layover in Cincinatti). Seattle's pretty much the same as I left it (at least I think so). I didn't spend too much time seeing the sights. I have quite enought time to do that. Rented a 4WD and I'm damn glad I did. I got nothing but mounds of snow everywhere, and it's snowing as I type this in the local internet cafe. Just had to buy a coffee to use it. Cheap at that, WOOOOT! Cle Elum is probably pretty close to any small town up in northern Michigan. Cle Elum is about 70 miles east of Seattle/Tacoma. Not too far up the mountains (we're about 2500 feet above sea level) but the balmy feel of Seattle (no snow anywhere to be found) changed tremendously in that 70 miles of travel. At about 40 miles or so, snow was evident on the ground and it only got higher and higher as I drove. We got probably 3-4 feet of snow on the ground and almost 10 feet drifts. Cle Elum is your typical small town, a couple of street lights and its got that rustic feel. Believe it or not...just what I was looking for. Ooops gotta go...they're closing up shop all around me...typical small town...everything closes up early. Will write more soon. God bless! -------------------------------------------------------- Yeah Mikey, I am glad you are in Washington. I visited Medstar on Saturday with Jacob and he wanted to know where Uncle Mikey was? I made everyone look twice. They were confused because I looked so much like Nicole. It really messed with some of them. It was very funny. Good job with your class. You and Nicole rock! Love Ya, Cherie Posted by Cherie on [26 Feb 2007 | Monday] - 15:14 ------------------------------------------------- LOL! I'm not suprised. I'm sorry I missed you two, but I had a date with a plane trip as you well know. I'm actually suprised that you haven't been up (at Medstar) before now. And thank you for the kind comments as always. I've been up here for four days now and we've had snow everyday to add to the multitudes already fallen. Good thing I packed for this weather. I even brought my boots. Good thing too! Will write more soon! Love you too! Posted by Mikey on [26 Feb 2007 | Monday] - 18:49

Vacation

[23 Feb 2007 | Friday]

Vacation Current mood: energetic Category: Travel and Places I will be on my way to Washington State very soon. I'll be gone for two weeks and I am so looking forward to it. Dunno if I'll be looking forward to the 17 feet of snow that I'll be anticipating in the mountains but I'll be sure to relax and have some fun. I don't know what kind of internet access I'll have but if I have to hike it back to Seattle to use a internet cafe then so be it. Later peeps! Mikey 10:07 0 Comments 0 Kudos

EMT Class Final Exam

[22 Feb 2007 | Thursday]

EMT Class final exam Current mood: tired Category: Jobs, Work, Careers 22 February 2007 Sitting in front of my computer (at oh-dark-thirty in the morning) and way too tired to sleep; I just had to write something, to do something after what transpired earlier this evening. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling presently. Yeah I'm truly exhausted and way past tired, but I think the feeling is an overwhelming gratitude that I feel for "my peeps" and "my posse" that went well over what most would describe as the call of duty. You are the truly dedicated and you are true professionals. You are also truly great friends. What you guys and gals accomplished tonight to ensure that all the EMT students received a fair (albeit long) final practical and to finish what Nicole so eloquently remarked we should have done in two days (due to the large number of students [twenty-two]) is nothing short of amazing. What started at 1800 ended shortly after midnight, and I will tell you that every single EMT student appreciated what you (forever known as "my posse") did for them tonight. You gave them a chance to be EMT's. In no particular order (and not wanting to diminish the importance of any): Frannie Forsythe: You've come a long way, baby! It seems like only yesterday that you just started here. You are welcome to come teach (or work) with me any day you wish! It is obvious to me that you love to help others and that you love to teach. You are an excellent EMT and you will be a great medic (soon)! Rob Limpert: Partner, you may not look it and you certainly don't act like it, but you, sir, are a consummate professional! You should have been an I/C a long time ago. You love what you do. You are passionate and you take the extra time and energy to ensure that your FTOlings know their profession. You should have been a great medic a long time ago as well (and we will rectify that situation soon)! There is no "basic" in EMT! Allison Biliti: Thank you for the "drop of the hat" help tonight. You came through in the clutch! You may not have stayed to the bitter end, but your timely assist has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. It's hard to believe that you were once an EMT student not so long ago yourself. Tammie Mandeville: Another one that answered the call to the medic class. You were a great patient all night long! I think you might be a bit taller in the morning after oh-so-many traction splints! And yes, I believe you! Your daughter didn't need any help in the least! Your daughter has a dedicated mom! Richard Tripp: My good friend, you didn't start with the rest of us, but you finished with the rest of us! You are truly a dedicated student to the science of ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />EMS. You are an EMS sponge! You are always willing to help out! My thanks to Tracy and Olivia as well for your assist tonight. You'd better not get into trouble for it! Lego Star Wars rules! Kelly Soulliere: I asked for some help from the medic class, and you answered in spades! It takes a truly dedicated person to subject yourself to (almost) twenty-two EMT students at the longest station in the practical (the airway station). You are to be commended for your dedication and your fortitude! A great medic in the making! Amy DelVecchio and (so cute!) Melina: You didn't have a babysitter but you came anyways to help out like you always do! That's dedication from a great friend! Melina was the belle of the ball tonight! I think she gathered more looks than anyone else! You da Mom!! I think it's time for another I/C to be born! Tim Swinyer: Another assist from a clutch player! Couldn't have asked for any more than you gave tonight. The crazy man of the group, you're always keeping it light! Thank you, sir! Peace out! And last…but certainly not least: Nicole Plauman: How can I thank a best friend for just being you? You kept us all organized at the end and you bugged the hell out of me all night long! You keep me on the straight and narrow. Best friends compliment each other, pick up each other, and make up for the faults of each other. The proverbial yin and yang! I couldn't do this job and my life certainly wouldn't be as much fun if you weren't in it! There are no words that I can think of or say so mightily that would accurately express my thanks to each and every one of you for your help, your dedication, and your passion tonight. You made a long night truly memorable. As far as my students are concerned (and they made it quite clear to me tonight), you are the BEST! May God bless you all! I need to thank a couple of others as well: Melissa Gladieux: You got the ball rolling for me and did the things that I couldn't do tonight. I honestly don't know how you do the things you do sometimes, but that's what makes a good person great. You are truly a great friend and we always seem to complement each other exceptionally well in the classroom! Good Cop, Bad Cop! We do it all! I also want to take the time to thank you for another exceptional opportunity to teach our students. I think we both paid our dues with this class. You will not be disappointed! Julie Szuminski and the rest of the Medstar Management Staff: Thank you again for another great opportunity to instruct and teach our students. I didn't have a whole lot of time with them but I assure you that you will not be disappointed with the results. Respectfully, Mikey --------------------------------------- Thanks Mikey, That's what friends are for. Besides I like bugging you even if you were in the bathroom!! ha ha I think it was a great night with friends. We all multi-tasked. I would not have wanted to be Kelly she did have the lllllllongest station in the world but she got it done and even helped on the other stations in the end. The only thing we did not accomplish was a drink and a burger from The hut so put that class on the back burner. I truely love working with everyone at Medstar we are a team and will always be a team. Next time though we do need 2 days that way I can go get my drink and a burger with no problem. I think you have a great basic class they just need to take a breath and have faith in themselves because did show us they can do it. I love ya Mikey don't ever change and keep on writing because it makes me smile everytime I read your blogs. Medstar needs Mikey's cup of coffee again we miss it. (I can do the proof reading to make sure you are politically correct lol) I love ya have fun in Washington this is how I felt this morning.. Let me know if you need help tonight. You can call me anytime and I will be there. Posted by Nicole on [22 Feb 2007 | Thursday] - 12:27 -------------------------------------- You are truly the coolest friend I could ever hope to have!! Love you!! Posted by Mikey on [22 Feb 2007 | Thursday] - 15:17

Holly

[13 Dec 2006 | Wednesday]

Holly Current mood: morose Category: Friends I don't really know how to start this one so... First, a preface: Holly (or anyone who might also agree) if you are in any way embarrassed by this blog, just say the word. It's not meant to embarrass you or I. I'll delete this blog without a second thought. I just feel that it's a story of life that needs to be told. Holly is a friend near and dear to my heart. We met online (on AOL) when this online thing was just getting off the ground back in 1995 or so. She was going through a separation/divorce at the time and I (like now) was looking around. We hit it off pretty good. Long story short, she has some medical problems that prompted her to move back home with her parents so they could provide some much needed help and support for her and her children. At the time, I was pretty smitten with her. Right then and there, I would've married her on the spot, even knowing all of her medical problems and family problems and such. At the time, I didn't want her to leave (me...being selfish...go figure!) but I realize now that it was probably the best thing for her. And that was good enough for me; I just didn't realize it at the time. We never really lost touch with each other, but there were a few years where we only talked or emailed occasionally. Nevertheless, she was never far from my thoughts. I always keep a picture of her (that she hates but I love) near my bed that I took of her when we went camping early on. It's a very poignant semi-profile shot that I think shows her sweetness and her back-country determination and feistiness. That's one thing I really love about her. She's a tiny one but she'll give you what for when she needs to. Kind of like some other friends I know and love. Anyways, we've been talking quite a bit (emailing) this past year. I wish it was good news but it isn't. At the beginning of the year, Holly was basically told that she had about a year to live. Her medical problems had become so out of control that the combination of her diagnoses was literally killing her. She hasn't been able to work, so she can't pay her bills. She can barely afford to take care of herself and her kids. Anything that she gets, it goes to support her family. Anything she does, it's to support her kids. She does without so her kids can have what they need. Why am I writing this? Because I received an email from her the other day. She has finally given up (or really, really wants to). Her children are still children (and they act accordingly), never giving her a break or a rest. They can't (and don't) appreciate her difficulties, her illness and her concerns. Her children aren't giving her the respect that she feels she deserves. She is in constant pain, physically and mentally. She has no energy when she wakes up in the morning to face the multitude of challenges that await her, and she goes to bed just as tired as she woke up. Her words: "I have nothing, nobody, no reason." When I read it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How does someone get to that point in their lives? Being in EMS, I do see it, have seen it and will see it again. Regardless, it is a hard thing for me to understand, the eternal optimist that I am (or think I am). Now, from somebody that close to me, to hear (or read) those words, it's akin to a knife in the gut, slowly turning, the pain never ending, never abating. Here I am, three thousand miles away from her, and I know she needs someone to support her. The best I can do right now is email her or call her. I feel like I could do more for her, but I know she wouldn't allow me to even do that (whatever more I could think of). I know she waits with bated breath to see the next email from me, offering whatever encouragement I can give her. To me, it never feels like enough. To her, it's a rush of energy as if the written word can make things all better, if only for a moment. I wrote her back immediately to tell her that she does have something, somebody and some reason to keep on going. She knows that. But I'm not there to witness the trials and tribulations of her everyday life. I just realized that I can't do justice to our emails by paraphrasing them. So here are the emails in their entirety: Holly: Hiya Sweetie, Sorry, didn't mean to make ya worry. Just haven't been doin so good physically or mentally lately. Just kinda goin through the motions the best I can. With the holidays comin up and bills piling up health gettin worse, no end in sight for pain at this point, kids not listenin to me, I guess you can say I haven't found a reason yet the past couple of weeks to keep me goin. No reason to keep fightin to live. And to tell ya the truth, it is really dissappointing. I thought I had more, but when it all comes down to it, I have nothing, nobody, no reason. A friend of mine took me to Oregon for the weekend, get me away from all this. Well I got home and told them how much I missed them and they told me how much they missed me etc....2 hours later....same ole shit. Disrespecting me, not listening, argueing, making me feel like a worthless piece of shit. I bought them things while I was gone, because I wanted to, to show them I love them.....what do I get in return....same ole attitude, mom is gettin mad over nothin. "Mom, you just got home and your already yellin at me for nothin, all I did was throw a cup that accidentally hit you, I didn't mean for it to hit you. What are you gettin all riled up for?" I only ask every day ....every single day....at least 3 times a day....DO NOT THROW THINGS IN THE HOUSE. I ask every day, every day I get disrespected by something flyin through the air in the house and I am not suppose to get upset when one of those things ACCIDENTALLY hits me. I have lost all respect for life, it sucks, it isn't worth all the pain and the headaches that I have to endure every day. It isn't that rewarding basically. Bills keep gettin worse, no more money comin in, medical bills etc..... just more and more....it has to stop. Either I just die, or I just stop goin to the doctor and hopefully soon I will just croak. My parents don't listen to me, my kids don't listen to me, the friend that took me to Oregon for the weekend doesn't listen.....I swear I have no voice.....nobody hears the words that come out. Only I hear them. It is like a bad dream. I bet that after I die and everyone reads the letters I have written, then they will hear my words. But you know what.....it will be too late. I am sure this isn't what you want to hear. I'm sorry, that is partly why I haven't written sooner, I didn't have anything good to say. Other than I miss you.....love you. Hopefully soon I will get out of this rut. Christmas should be fun, happy and giving. And I don't see any of that right now. I have had a few friends ask me what I want for Xmas....I just tell them to buy groceries for my kids. I took some stuff to the pawn shop last week, they wouldn't even give me what the stuff was worth. So that was a waste of time and rip off. With gold up to $633 an ounce, I should be able to find enough jewelry to equal an ounce hopefully more. Anyway, I am goin to get in tub and soak my legs, hopefully the pain and swellin will go down a little. I will write more tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll have more of a positive outlook on things.....Hopefully your eye is better and your doin great and gettin tons of rest. :-) Love and miss ya, MMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Holly Me: Hiya Beautiful, WOW! I'm really at a loss for words. I keep hoping and praying that things will get better; that you will get better. I've been thinking about you quite a bit…yes, you could say that I was just a little worried. I don't know if terrified would be the right word, but it would be pretty close. Well, I do know that you're a little wrong. I'm still listening and hearing you. I have been from the beginning. But, it's different. I'm not there. I don't see the everyday things. I guess I would call it "my mind's eye" view. In my mind's eye, the world is perfect. You're perfect. I guess I'm feeling that I'm somehow deluding myself with my view. I know—really know—that the world isn't like that. The world isn't perfect. You aren't perfect. I (obviously) know that I'm not perfect. But, I can't stop thinking that this—all this—really isn't what we—God—intended. Be assured that you have something, somebody, some reason. I've seen people that feel like they have nothing, nobody, no reason. I've tried to tell those people that it just isn't true. I've never seen that in you, until now. And that scares me to the core. I, the eternal optimist, am feeling a bit helpless at the moment. If I were to have one wish it would be to take you away from everything, just so you could be happy. I don't want to say it… There's only one being that can do that. I can't. Only He can. And if he does that, then I've lost one of the most important people in my life. Lost but NEVER EVER forgotten. I'm really surprised I can even type right now. I'm a f****** wreck. I can barely see the screen right now. I've just killed a half box of tissues and working damn hard on the other half. But, you're right—partially. Life does suck (occasionally). It sure isn't fair (sometimes). But, regardless, I'll never stop being the eternal optimist. I've been doing this for 12 years now (EMS) and I know the reality of life (at least I think I do). I'll keep doing what I can to save the world from itself, one person at a time, until I'm physically and mentally unable to do so. What scares me so is that I've just now been beset with a person who—normally full of life and energy and zest and zeal—has turned into the pessimist that I abhor. And, to tell you the absolutely unvarnished truth, I honestly don't blame you one iota for feeling like you do. I don't like it. But I understand (absolutely!) where you are coming from. I just wish (again) that it wasn't so. I understand now that no matter what I say or do, or try to do, or wish I could do, that it isn't going to make it better. I have a very good friend with a grandfather. Again, true to my nature, I'm part of the family, so to speak. Her grandfather is ready to go. His wife of 55 years passed away a year or so ago. He's told me that he's just waiting until God's done with him. His wife was his life and he has had a good life. I can respect that. Not exactly the same for you, but I understand you and I respect you when you say that you need to move on. It doesn't make me feel any better inside (just like my friend). I do hope and pray when that moment comes, that you feel fulfilled and loved. That you gave it your all and you gave the world something to remember. Even if it's only two other beings (besides yourself) that believes you: myself and God. Well, the crying is almost stopped and I can see the screen just a little better. I DO hope and pray that things will get better. For everything to get better. But please know that there is one person that believes in you, that you have something, somebody and some reason. That your life, though not what you expected, does mean something. I Love You!! MMMMMMMMMMWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO -------<--@ Remember those? Mikey I had a hard time writing that. I have a hard time writing this. I'm surprised I'm even writing all of this. It's hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done or been exposed to. There are questions. And somewhere in all this, I'd expect there are probably answers. Just not as apparent as Holly and I would like. I am the product of a fairly strict Roman-Catholic household and upbringing. It probably pains my parents to no end that I do not attend church on a regular basis (work beckons), but His teachings have not been forgotten by me. I recognize God and his works on my own terms and I proclaim my faith in my own way. The fact that I haven't been struck down tells me that He respects that. The reason I bring this up is that one thought I have: How much is enough? We are taught that God only gives so much that one can handle (good things, bad things, etc.). I believe when you get to that point (such as I believe Holly has), that things will happen. How, why, where, when and what do we recognize that moment or event? It's not like we get a bright red neon sign telling us what to do, where to go, etc. Sometimes it seems there are only more questions, never answers. I guess I'm finally looking for an answer, even though there isn't one forthcoming. My wish isn't something that I could even grant. Only He can do that. And that scares me to an extent, because when he does grant my wish, I'll be without someone that I love and care about. I'm sure I'll continue on with my life until God's done with me. But, it won't ever be the same. And I will have some questions for Him. Questions without answers. "To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affections of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends'; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson I LOVE YOU, HOLLY! 22:42 7 Comments 4 Kudos ------------------------------------------------ Hi Mikey, I think it's time you take a vacation to Washington and while you are there you can go and give Holly a great big hug and kiss and then she will know that people do care and think about her. I know you have often thought about her and keep her near to your heart so I think since you have not been on a vacation in over a year you should go and see her. Besides I think you need to take a little rest it would do you some good to get away and be with somebody you care about. That's why so many people love you because you always keep the faith and are positive. Love ya Nicole Posted by Nicole on [14 Dec 2006 | Thursday] - 13:46 ----------------------------------------- Mikey, I agree with Nicole. GET OFF your ASS and go see her. She needs to see you, not read e-mails. Look at how wonderful it would be to hold her and try to enjoy Christmas together. My heart goes out to her and hope she over comes her sickness, but my heart goes out to you to for being such a loving, supportive person. You are a wonderful person and thats why "I LOVE YOU!"....Brenda PS...Take a belt or switch with you, and teach them kids how to respect and honor their Mother!....lol Posted by BRENDA on [14 Dec 2006 | Thursday] - 14:33 ------------------------------------------ You two are the greatest! I've been giving it some serious thought. Money's a bit tight right now, but as soon as I can scrape together the cash, I've pretty much decided to go out there. She needs something to look forward to...and maybe so do I. Love you both! Posted by Mikey on [14 Dec 2006 | Thursday] - 20:24 ------------------------------------------ Hi Mikey I love you too. That's what credit cards are for. I know you don't like to use them but in this case I would book a flight in a heart beat and so should you. All you have to do is teach more when you get back and we can pick up so overtime shifts together and your all set. Just trying to help. Love ya nicole I know if you don't go you will be a mess and get all crabby and then I will have to send you in a box and that won't be very comfortable. LOL Last time you were crabby we didn't talk for a month. So book a flight tonight!! I love ya Posted by Nicole on [14 Dec 2006 | Thursday] - 20:39 ------------------------------------- Hey hon, I happen to know a bit of what she is going through, and though e-mails and phone calls are nice, the real live person is what is best. Sounds like her parents don't respect her either. She does need you in the flesh and I am hoping you can be a Christmas present for her. Show those kids what a great person there mom is and how much they will miss her when and if she is gone. Keep me posted and let me know if I can do any thing. I have a friend that has family in Lakewood WA and I know that they would lay down thier life if it would give her more time with her kids. Love ya, Sonja (p.s. Remember that I always loved you first.....) Posted by Andi on [17 Dec 2006 | Sunday] - 20:01 ------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank Sonja, And yes...I do remember. Thanks for the support. Posted by Mikey on [17 Dec 2006 | Sunday] - 22:14 -------------------------------------------- Hi Mikey, You are such an awesome person. I think you should visit her. I think her children also need some hope. Children tend to act out when situations are out of control. The children are trying to cope and survive just like her. I really feel for them. Have the children had counseling? They can recieve it free from their school district. I am not sticking up for their behavior but I do understand why they are acting out. They are frightened and confused. They might loose their Mom!! I would act out in this situation and I am an adult. I wish I could hug all of them. Let Holly know that they do love her but are experiencing a tremdous amount of anxiety also. Holly, I do not know you, but I know Mickey. He loves you and I know you are special to him. Do not give up!!!!! People believe and care for you. Fight with every once you have. Your children need you, even if you feel they do not care. They are frightened and confused. I don't know what you are going through but know that people far away are praying for you. Love, Cherie Posted by Cherie on [21 Dec 2006 | Thursday] - 23:47

Stories Told

[16 Oct 2006 | Monday]

Stories told Current mood: touched Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Why do you do what you do? Crazy question, but can anyone answer it? Why did I become a paramedic? Was it for the excitement (right!)? Was it because I love blood and guts and puke and pee and poop (doubt it!)? Was it for the money (what planet am I from?)? Or was it because I wanted to help people? All of us, no matter the job, have the same or similar questions that we can ask each other or of ourselves. Anyone that really knows me, knows that I absolutely, positively, without reservation, love what I do. Sure there's excitement. Lot's of pee, puke and other bodily substances that most normal people wouldn't touch with a ten meter cattle prod. The money wasn't great when I started and I'd probably agree with the rest of the planet that what I'm making now isn't what I am worth or should be getting. And I sure do help people! I've saved more than a few lives, helped many people suffering suffer a little less, and I've helped little old ladies and gentlemen to their feet after they've fallen. I've made people breathe just a little easier, I've reduced the catastrophic effects of full-bore heart attacks, I've stopped people from seizing and, (The Lord only knows) how many diabetic emergencies I've fixed. I've dropped probably a hundred tubes, started thousands of IV's and interpreted just as many ECG's. I've stopped allergic and anaphylactic reactions, chemically and electrically cardioverted tachycardias, and paced bradycardias or complete heart blocks. I've administered hundreds of medications and (it seems) millions of liters of oxygen. Does it "do" it for me? Sure it does. All of us have our favorite war stories. I make a difference. People are glad, happy and relieved (and angry) that I've stepped on their doorstep or visited them in the middle of a busy intersection. But does it really "do" it for me? Not as much as I'd like to think. What really does it for me is just being there. I've had some great calls. Calls where I've really actually, positively, beyond-a-shadow-of-doubt saved someone's life. I am so proud that I did it, have done it and I'll probably do it again tomorrow. But my BEST calls are the ones where I can just sit there and talk. Get to really know someone. Most of those tend to be transfers from one health care facility to another. Woooohoooo! A transfer! Everybody loves transfers (can you sense the sarcasm?)! What happens on most transfers? You just put the patient on the stretcher, take the patient from point A to point B, maybe get a set of vital signs, and drop the patient off and then you get ready to take another transfer. No interaction whatsoever with the patient (or very little). Sure doesn't sound very exciting, but that's the fact of life in a private ambulance company. The bread-and-butter-pays-your-bills isn't the emergency with all the excitement, it's the boring transfer. Believe me, some of my transfers are just that...boring as hell. But I like to take the time to get to know someone. And sometimes, just sometimes, it's worth more than each and every exciting balls-to-the wall emergencies you'll ever take in your lifetime as an EMT or a paramedic. Most of our patients tend to be elderly; there is no disagreement with that. But I do not think for a moment that every single patient I've ever had has led a dull, boring existence on this rock. Each one of us suffers the full range of emotions and experiences at some point in our lives. In short, everybody has a story. I love stories and these patients of ours love, absolutely love, to tell their story! I love to listen and they love to talk. They love to talk because nobody seems to want to listen to them anymore. They feel discarded, worn, old, and displaced. It seems to me that we, as a culture or even as a generation, tend to or have forgotten the old, the forlorn, the weak, the displaced, or the discarded. When something breaks, we get a new one, a better one. Fix something? Pah! It's easier and quicker to replace it. The world is revolving way to quickly lately. Way too busy. Everything has to be instantaneously, now or quicker. Well, I'll clue you in. You can't replace your parents or your grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters. We can't trade them in for newer ones that work better. So we tuck them away in nursing homes and forget about them. It's easier to do that then to slow down to their pace and to take some extra time out of our busy lives. I met a gentleman today, not too much younger than my own father (on a transfer believe it or not), whose story enamored me such that I stopped my life for a moment to listen to his. Well, I guess I didn't really listen to him. I read him. He has a tracheostomy and is on a ventilator. So he wrote his story to me and I listened to it. We both laughed, remembered, loved, anguished and were saddened. We experienced and enjoyed each other. I enjoyed it so much I went back for more. After work, I went back to the facility where I dropped him off and spent another hour and a half talking with him. He had a rather tragic story that he told rather tragically. But it was worth the mistiness that I felt well up in my soul and I showed in my eyes. And I saw the happiness in his eyes, that someone he had never met but several hours earlier, because I took time out of my busy life to spend it with him. To listen to his story. I'm going back again to listen to him. We already promised each other we'd go fishing together when he gets back home. And I know he's going back home. He's not the sort to have it any other way. Everybody loves a good story. There are many great books of fiction to be read. Great movies to watch. But the greatest stories to be told aren't works of fiction, they are works of life. And all you have to do is take the time and listen to them. I am and I am better for it, for it enriches my own life and it makes my own story worth telling. You just gotta listen. God Bless, Mikey ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Amen, you are such a CHAMP! It is soooooo true . I do love and miss the gore of EMS and people think I'm a bitch, but when it comes to my patients and the elderly., Listening and holding their hands somtimes is all the medicine they need. Society has forgotten the people that brought our parents and us into this world, you call (ROCK!)..lol.I love you Mikey and you are 100% right on everything you said. Tell your new friend, I said hello. God Bless, Brenda ---------------------------------------- Posted by BRENDA on [17 Oct 2006 | Tuesday] - 14:59 Mikey I just love ya and I think you are truly amazing. I am honored to call you my best friend /brother Love ya nicole Posted by Nicole on [20 Oct 2006 | Friday] - 01:46